Friends of the Libraries' Guest Columnist Features Let's use the new Athens library well By Andrew Mollica November 4, 2005 The Athens Messenger

Have you visited the Athens library branch since completion of the expansion project? An architectural marvel. Kudos to Director Stephen Hedges for spearheading the effort which, I can attest as a Library Trustee, was no small task.

One thing readily apparent about the improved facility is the amount of space available for future use. I thought I'd take this opportunity to offer some suggestions in this forum with the security of not having my ideas immediately and unceremoniously shot down by fellow Board members. (Libraries promote thinking and the exchange of ideas, my foot. Let's see the oppressors stop me now.) So here are just a few thoughts, humbly offered, on how to use all that room.

One: Casino gambling. There is plenty of space for a bank of slot machines and a couple of craps tables. The new circulation desk is big enough to accommodate a 10 person Texas Hold 'Em game. Channel out to the mighty Hocking and call ourselves a riverboat to keep the state off our back. Dice for Dickens. Shooters for Steinbeck. Black Jack for Bronte. And no more worries about funding.

Two: Compound for City Council. The library has a perfect vantage to oversee the construction of the proposed retirement center. Perch captain command chairs in front of the big windows to establish a presence. Let them know they are being watched. The building has been wired to accommodate whatever equipment needed. A request for a restraining order could be shot over to the Judge by email in a matter of seconds. The new amphitheater would be the perfect staging ground for more aggressive surveillance operations. No problem landing a helicopter in that field. I'm all for governmental entities sharing resources.

Three: A Repository for the important presidential documents of George Bush. Some organization will take on this task. Certainly it is line with one of the missions of the library-preserving history. Why not be in the forefront by offering our facility? And how much of a commitment would truly be involved? Rearrange a few supplies in the janitor's closet and we're good.

Fourth: Youth literacy programming. Nothing is of more importance than promoting reading among our children. No question that the library emphasizes these services. But we can do more. Here is just one idea that not only promotes literacy but fosters bonding between father and child: NFL Day at the library. Expand hours to include Sundays. Bring in lounge chairs and plasma screen TVs. Hook up the multi-game cable package, offer a variety of beers and chips, and tell the kids we'll talk about what they are reading at half time. I guarantee success.

Ah, so many possibilities.

Andrew Mollica is a local attorney at law and a trustee of the county-wide Nelsonville Public Library system.